Freedom Vs Bondage
What if I told you there was a path out of bondage and into freedom? Would you believe me? Do you believe that true freedom exists? It’s most likely not what you think. And, it’s not a place you arrive and there is a finish line. However, freedom is much like feasting. The more you feast, the more you are satisfied. Each day you wake up, you crave and feast. That is the nature of freedom. It’s never ending. There is always more to discover and experience. It’s quite the adventure. One you will want to say yes too.
Grieving is what creates a stream through the wilderness. As the tears flow, the stream begins to fill up, it begins to enlarge. It is the path through the wilderness. It is where an oasis springs up and life begins to emerge. The way through the wilderness is to fill up the stream, and let it water your soul.
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:1-4
Do you see the order in David’s words? The Lord must be your shepherd. You must admit the need for a shepherd and that you are helpless without His shepherding. There is no green pasture to lie down in until you have gone through the valley of grief and suffering, for it will water the dry pasture (wilderness) to make it green. Only when you lay down your pride and spend time watering the dry pasture with your tears will He be able to lead you beside still waters. In that place, He will restore your soul and you begin on the path of righteousness. Righteousness is our rightful place in Jesus. It is the beginning of growth and being alive in Christ. We are the righteousness of Christ, our true identity.
“For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5:21
The valley of the shadow of death was inside of me, it was my wounded, hardened heart. Being in a constant cycle of shame and anger became my normal. I began to believe that there was no freedom for me in this area. YET, something deep inside of me longed for complete freedom. Jesus said that He came to set the captives free, and I was being held captive and I had enough. I wanted this freedom.
In the spring of 2021, I said to the Lord that I wanted to taste and see His goodness in all areas of my life. I told Him that whatever it took, I would do it.
I knew it would take a choice to come out of hiding and take off my mask. To lay bare my heart before God and a few others my lifelong demons.
This meant allowing trusted and skilled people to lead me and help me to name the truth of my story and what happened in my life. I was completely honest with the state of my heart, and I said the word that many don’t want to utter. HELP.
When others, who knew the heart of God, came alongside of me and grieved with me, it opened a path I never knew existed. I found what my heart was longing for. An unconditional love. A love that swept in and loved me in my mess. A love that didn’t try to fix me. A love that held me and washed over me. It was a real and supernatural love that began to transform a very wounded woman.
What surprised me through this process was the amount of grief. I was 44 years old at the time. I called it a “backlog of grief”. I spent most of my life stuffing anything “negative” that would come up. I called that holy and good. I called that staying grateful despite the harm that was in my life. I convinced myself that I should feel good and not entertain any negative thoughts or feelings. I was to declare God’s goodness and pray more. Oh, how deceptive the enemy of the soul is. He twists everything that God has said is good and pure.
Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”. Most of us will refuse to admit we are brokenhearted and wounded. How can He heal us if we declare we are not those things? He won’t and He can’t. He has the power too. But, if we say we have no wounds to bind up, then He wont bind up. He will not override our free will. We often want God to just swoop in and fix us or fix our circumstances. That is not who He is. It will always require our honesty and partnership. We are co-heirs (Romans 8:17). Co-heirs will co-operate with the healing and sanctification process.
I will end this by extending an invitation to all who read this. There is a place of glorious freedom and light. Will you dare venture into the waters and dive in? Will you take the path of full honesty with God? It is worth it, I promise you! 😊
